It is indeed George, however writing pretentious grafitti on the wall of a pub toilet cubicle is about as far from revolutionary as you can get. The motivations people have to write things like this in toilets is a source of endless fascination to me. It serves no more purpose than just writing "West Ham are shit" or something and yet they obviously really feel they've stuck it to The Man with twaddle like this. "Yeh, that'll show Mr so-called Tony Blair, on the off chance that he comes into the Westbourne in Notting Hill and needs a slash he'll be soooo shocked".
Friday, August 03, 2007
Blue Bins
I looked up 'furore' in the dictionary for an exact definition. "A very angry or excited reaction by people to something e.g. the furore over The Satanic Verses".
Salman Rushide was the subject of a fatwa from the Iranian leader Ayatollah Khomeini after publishing a supposedly blasphemous book.
Harrow Council have issued blue wheelie bins instead of green.
Salman Rushide was the subject of a fatwa from the Iranian leader Ayatollah Khomeini after publishing a supposedly blasphemous book.
Harrow Council have issued blue wheelie bins instead of green.
Euro's
This was in the window of a Post Office. I don't know why I expect the owners of Post Offices to have a greater grasp of grammar than your average shopowner but I do. I was tempted to take up their offer and 'ask inside' why they thought Euros should have an apostophe and dollars shouldn't but as usual there was quite a big queue.
Joyous soul
Interviewer: "Tell me Mr Davies, are you joyous?"
Interviewee: "Well, I've always thought of myself as quite jolly"
Interviewer: "Hmmm, tch, well, we're really looking for joyous I'm afraid, we might have stretched to blissful, maybe even elated, but jolly isn't what we're after, thanks for coming in."
Interviewee: "Well, I've always thought of myself as quite jolly"
Interviewer: "Hmmm, tch, well, we're really looking for joyous I'm afraid, we might have stretched to blissful, maybe even elated, but jolly isn't what we're after, thanks for coming in."
Open your cheap ears...
Poundland is a strange phenomenon and I could write for ages about it how it personifies the UK consumer's obsession with getting something for nothing - even if they don't actually want that something. However, my point here is with the tagline "Yes! Everything's £1"
This can, of course be read in two ways depending on your emphasis. Firstly there's the reasonable interpretation of "Yes! That's right, it's amazing isn't it, but everything really is only £1, come in and buy some shite with the dregs of change from your giro and/or state pension."
The alternative, however, is the plantive sobbing cry of a Poundland employee faced with yet another retarded pleb waving a plastic ashtray or four pack of almost out-of-date Crunchies in their weeping face "Yes! That costs £1. Everything's £1. Everything. I cannot stress enough how much you do not need to ask me about the price of individual items. Everything's a fucking pound you drooling mongoloid.'
And what's with the laurel leaf emblem? Didn't Caesar or at the very least Fred Perry pretty much have that one sewn up?
This can, of course be read in two ways depending on your emphasis. Firstly there's the reasonable interpretation of "Yes! That's right, it's amazing isn't it, but everything really is only £1, come in and buy some shite with the dregs of change from your giro and/or state pension."
The alternative, however, is the plantive sobbing cry of a Poundland employee faced with yet another retarded pleb waving a plastic ashtray or four pack of almost out-of-date Crunchies in their weeping face "Yes! That costs £1. Everything's £1. Everything. I cannot stress enough how much you do not need to ask me about the price of individual items. Everything's a fucking pound you drooling mongoloid.'
And what's with the laurel leaf emblem? Didn't Caesar or at the very least Fred Perry pretty much have that one sewn up?
Yeeeeesssss!!
How excited is that guy to have his phone unlocked? "Come on!!! Get in there!! My phone. Is. Unlocked!!!"
Ow
So there was this school bus full of kids..in fact, they were handicapped kids...anyway, the bus was hanging off this precipice...did I mention it was on fire?...no?...oh, right, well the bus was on fire...so I was pulling it back using superhuman strength when this panther came out of nowhere....oh, right, ok, yes, I did fall out of the bath, fair enough.
The In Plaice
The In Plaice. The plaice/place trick is a standard ploy but teaming it with the slightly out of date vernacular of somewhere being 'In' implying hip and cool is clever - particularly as chips, while tasty and yummy, are hardly groovy.
60's 70's 80's 90's
Another case of admiring their consistency yet criticising their use of apostrophe. This is real nit picking for the sake of it but it should be, an example, '60s not 60's. Nothing belongs to the '60s (apart from casual drug use and promiscuous sex of course). If we're being really pedantic (which I know I never am) it should also be OPEN 'TIL LATE...
Friday, June 09, 2006
The beast within
The World Cup starts today with the titanic clash of footballing super nations that is Germany v Costa Rica. The irony of this is, of course, that Costa Rica sounds more like a Brazilian player than a country. "Ronaldo, a short through ball to Ronaldhino, a beautiful cross, met by Rica and oh, he's scored a wonderful goal." Alternatively, it sounds like everybody's Dad making shit jokes about south american footballers. "Chelsea have signed a Brazilian have they? Eh? What's his name? Costa Lotta? Hahahaha..ha...ha....oh"
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Picture perfect
Just a quick note to say that I'm not putting pictures on this blog, I was taking far too many of them and would've ended up taking up the whole infrequently-updated thing with them. So I'm posting them on Flickr - link on the right.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Action man bow ties
Went out to dinner last night at Per Luigi's, a pasta restaurant in Beckenham. It's 30 seconds from our flat, and the food is good but it obviously has to cater for the truly stupid people of South London. This is the back of the menu, it hasn't come out really, but you can just about see the Quality Street style map making sure prospective diners know what spaghetti looks like.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
The Phantom Menace wasn't that bad...
Here in Harrow there are few landmarks of note. Up on the hill there is the school of course, but down here in the actual town there is nothing but Costa Coffees, Greggs, and Yates*. All very depressing until you look up above the normal street level. Next to the tube tracks there is a surprisingly large three-storey building that was once the Post Office. Now empty it stands as a testament to the boredom of office workers as this gem illustrates just what can be achieved with a simple pad of Post-It notes.
The question is, of course, who is Lucas? It's not a very common forename, so perhaps it's a surname. If so, it's very formal considering they're announcing his sexuality to the whole of passing Harrow.
The real genius is that fact that they've announced the Lucas is gay and then, just to make sure we're aware of what gay may mean, they've added the Post-It phallus. I particularly like the attention to detail that has led to cutting some notes into strips to form Post-It pubes. The testicles seem disproportionately small though considering the size of the cock.
And they're square.
If this really is an accurate depiction of Lucas' shrivelled angular winkie then I think Lucas should be found and given medical attention. A spokesperson for the Post Office was, however, unavailable for comment.
*Or Yates Wine Lodge as they used to be known. This is, of course, far too many letters for your average scouser to cope with so "Yateseys" was born, and Yateseys it shal remain hereafter
Monday, March 13, 2006
Breakthrough
Unusually for me, it worked, look at that. There's going to be a whole raft of them now aren't there...
Picture perfect
In a probably vain attempt to see whether I can get pictures on this thing using Safari, here's an example of the kind of thing being preserved at the National Archives - a bald head with a pony tail. They've even got him on reception to let new visitors know the kind of thing that's available inside.
Friday, March 10, 2006
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