Friday, August 03, 2007

Universal deceit


Universal deceit
Originally uploaded by andrewd6
It is indeed George, however writing pretentious grafitti on the wall of a pub toilet cubicle is about as far from revolutionary as you can get. The motivations people have to write things like this in toilets is a source of endless fascination to me. It serves no more purpose than just writing "West Ham are shit" or something and yet they obviously really feel they've stuck it to The Man with twaddle like this. "Yeh, that'll show Mr so-called Tony Blair, on the off chance that he comes into the Westbourne in Notting Hill and needs a slash he'll be soooo shocked".

Blue Bins


Blue Bins
Originally uploaded by andrewd6
I looked up 'furore' in the dictionary for an exact definition. "A very angry or excited reaction by people to something e.g. the furore over The Satanic Verses".
Salman Rushide was the subject of a fatwa from the Iranian leader Ayatollah Khomeini after publishing a supposedly blasphemous book.

Harrow Council have issued blue wheelie bins instead of green.

Euro's


Euro's
Originally uploaded by andrewd6
This was in the window of a Post Office. I don't know why I expect the owners of Post Offices to have a greater grasp of grammar than your average shopowner but I do. I was tempted to take up their offer and 'ask inside' why they thought Euros should have an apostophe and dollars shouldn't but as usual there was quite a big queue.

Joyous soul


Joyous soul
Originally uploaded by andrewd6
Interviewer: "Tell me Mr Davies, are you joyous?"
Interviewee: "Well, I've always thought of myself as quite jolly"
Interviewer: "Hmmm, tch, well, we're really looking for joyous I'm afraid, we might have stretched to blissful, maybe even elated, but jolly isn't what we're after, thanks for coming in."

Open your cheap ears...


Open your cheap ears...
Originally uploaded by andrewd6
Poundland is a strange phenomenon and I could write for ages about it how it personifies the UK consumer's obsession with getting something for nothing - even if they don't actually want that something. However, my point here is with the tagline "Yes! Everything's £1"
This can, of course be read in two ways depending on your emphasis. Firstly there's the reasonable interpretation of "Yes! That's right, it's amazing isn't it, but everything really is only £1, come in and buy some shite with the dregs of change from your giro and/or state pension."
The alternative, however, is the plantive sobbing cry of a Poundland employee faced with yet another retarded pleb waving a plastic ashtray or four pack of almost out-of-date Crunchies in their weeping face "Yes! That costs £1. Everything's £1. Everything. I cannot stress enough how much you do not need to ask me about the price of individual items. Everything's a fucking pound you drooling mongoloid.'
And what's with the laurel leaf emblem? Didn't Caesar or at the very least Fred Perry pretty much have that one sewn up?

Yeeeeesssss!!


Yeeeeesssss!!
Originally uploaded by andrewd6
How excited is that guy to have his phone unlocked? "Come on!!! Get in there!! My phone. Is. Unlocked!!!"

Ow


Ow
Originally uploaded by andrewd6
So there was this school bus full of kids..in fact, they were handicapped kids...anyway, the bus was hanging off this precipice...did I mention it was on fire?...no?...oh, right, well the bus was on fire...so I was pulling it back using superhuman strength when this panther came out of nowhere....oh, right, ok, yes, I did fall out of the bath, fair enough.

The In Plaice


The In Plaice
Originally uploaded by andrewd6
The In Plaice. The plaice/place trick is a standard ploy but teaming it with the slightly out of date vernacular of somewhere being 'In' implying hip and cool is clever - particularly as chips, while tasty and yummy, are hardly groovy.

60's 70's 80's 90's


60's 70's 80's 90's
Originally uploaded by andrewd6
Another case of admiring their consistency yet criticising their use of apostrophe. This is real nit picking for the sake of it but it should be, an example, '60s not 60's. Nothing belongs to the '60s (apart from casual drug use and promiscuous sex of course). If we're being really pedantic (which I know I never am) it should also be OPEN 'TIL LATE...