Here's the last one, you'll be glad to hear, and it's from November 2004. This was an exercise in filling up the space with nothing to say - that will become painfully clear when reading it. The brief background is that it was the mag's 20th anniversary and also my last column as editor. As a result I was past caring about making any actual points and just rattled some bollocks out in five mins.
COMMENT NOVEMBER 2004
This magazine is 20 years old this month, you may have noticed.
I have a confession to make though, as much as I believe in speaking authoritatively on such things, I’ll be honest with you and say that the only connection I had with the kbb industry in 1984 was spilling Ribena on my Mum’s nice new lino kitchen floor – I was 12.
Yes, I know, I know…I look older than 32.
Anyway, if you’d told me in 1984 that I’d end up writing about toilets, kitchens and taps for a living I’d have given you a dead arm and maybe drawn a rude cartoon about you in the back of my geography exercise book.
Now that I think of it, I do remember there was one lad in my class whose Dad worked in the kitchen industry – while the rest of us were backing our books with old wallpaper his were foil-wrapped.
See, I may not have been in the business 20 years but I can still make terrible jokes about it.
So while trade journalism was the last career I had in mind, considering my actual plan was to marry Princess Leia and maybe join the A-Team, that’s not a big surprise.
Twenty years later, luckily, it’s worked out rather differently. The A-Team turned down my application after it was discovered I was imprisoned for a crime I actually DID commit, and they chased me out of the Los Angeles underground altogether when they found out the crime involved was trying to wed Princess Leia against her will.
I actually feel very privileged to be at the helm of this magazine on the auspicious occasion of its 20th birthday. To be part of something so well served established and respected throughout such a large, varied and interesting industry is very rewarding both professionally and personally.
I hope you’ve already dug out the very special commemorative booklet from inside the mag and, of course, studied every word. Feel free to back it in wallpaper and keep it forever. It’s been a fascinating exercise for us to examine the last 20 years of the industry as well as look forward to the next 20 years and I’d really like to thank everyone who contributed to it.
We had an overwhelming response from people and companies who wanted to get involved and, quite frankly, we could’ve easily filled several issues of the magazine. So thank you to everyone and my apologies to those we couldn’t squeeze in.
The most interesting thing for me in looking back over 20 years is that I knew a lot more than I thought about trends and fashions. It really brought home to me how cyclical the kbb industry can be, and how often variations on the same theme come up again and again. The modern bathroom suite my mum and dad had in 1984 is now retro and the Ribena splattered hard lino floor, which was replaced by thick carpet tiles, is now a hard laminated wooden floor splattered with cranberry juice (I’m still as clumsy now as I was then).
